Redline: Everything Will Be Different Now

I don’t know what your favorite Rutger Hauer movie is. He’s made a few good ones. There’s always his iconic performance in Blade Runner. There’s also Split Second, a solid 1992 sci-fi flick that’s difficult to find on DVD. Not to mention his more recent starring role in Hobo with a Shotgun. But I’m here to talk about Redline, a 1997 sf thriller curiously available on Amazon Instant Video.

I think Rutger Hauer starred in a string of low-budget action movies in the nineties because he was having a midlife crisis. There is one major aspect of this movie that would appeal to an actor struggling with his own virility: breasts. Pert, young, natural, communist breasts. The kind you don’t see in movies anymore. The kind that make life worth living. In Redline, Rutger Hauer gets to make out with naked Russian chicks a lot, and even gets into a fight with one.

This movie is so low rent that Mark freaking Dacascos is the costar. If you don’t know who Mark is, I have four words for you: Kickboxer 5: The Redemption. That didn’t work? Okay, he played the titular Crying Freeman in a live action adaptation of Kazuo Koike’s manga. In Redline, he plays a man who never wears a t-shirt.

Redline is a science fiction thriller about John Anderson Wade (Hauer), an American who smuggles futuristic tech into Russia, until he and his girlfriend are betrayed and shot dead by his partner, Merrick (Dacascos). Wade is reanimated using a weird kind of experimental technology that leaves him grappling with immense physical pain, and is quickly embroiled in a I-can’t-remember plot that involves the entire power structure of Russia.

I don’t know if it was Rutger Hauer’s presence or the desperation of my own mind trying to justify a terrible course of action, but I left this movie satisfied despite a laundry list of complications. I watched it via Amazon Instant Video, where it was in a 4:3 aspect ratio and the audio was maddeningly out of sync with the video. The biggest complication of all, however, is that this movie kind of blows.

Outrage: not as much outrage as I was expecting.

Takeshi Kitano, writer, director and star of the 2010 Yakuza movie Outrage, is a complex entity unto himself. I’ll resolve, then, to talk about this film without bringing in the complicating factors of his iconic past work and this being hailed as his return to proper form. Look Kitano up if you’d like, there’s a reason his reputation precedes him.

When I first heard about this movie and saw the promotional photographs of Takeshi grimly staring on, pistol in hand, I had it all wrong. I imagined Outrage as some kind of “old pissed off Yakuza versus the world” movie. Not the case. Kitano isn’t even the proper star of the film, considering how many plot points rarely involve him. His performance is often disarmingly charming, bordering on jovial. I blame the marketing team for misrepresenting this movie.

Outrage is a crime film about dishonor and nihilistic futility. In it we see boss after boss manipulate their underlings to suit their selfish purposes at each other’s expense. The plot gets so complicated you may begin lose track of who is betraying who, and for what grievance in particular. But that’s part of its maddening intrigue.

It’s not an unpleasant experience, watching this movie. I thank Kitano for keeping the runtime under two hours, as there’s a limit to how long something like this can amble before it grows tedious. Outrage flirts with that limit. There may even be some heavy petting.

One subplot in particular, involving a Ghanaian ambassador, is so rushed and punctuated with fades to black you can’t help but marvel at the creative desperation to detail a series of events which add little to the movie itself. The actor playing the ambassador is terrible, and while his portrayal isn’t at all racist, it’s uncomfortable in that patented Japanese way you’re probably used to. Maybe the actor shouldn’t have bugged his eyes out quite so many times, for starters.

There’s a plodding quality to Outrage which makes it stand out and enriches the performances within. It puts me in an odd place in that I’m not left feeling impressed, but I look forward to seeing the 2012 sequel, which is already in development.

Quick addendum: I know next to nothing about fashion and I’m barely competent at getting dressed in the morning, however: this movie taught me if you’re long in the tooth and not terribly in shape, a good Caesar haircut alone can make you seem more badass. Not sure why that works, but it does.

7 things I’d rather spend $60 on instead of a new video game

I suffer an affliction of the mind. You see, sometimes I buy video games the week they come out.
I’m trying to get better, but the road to recovery is a long and difficult one. The first step is admitting you have a problem. The second step is outlining alternatives to paying $60 for a video game, because the retail cost of the damn things drop so rapidly.

This isn’t a hypothetical list. These are all things I’ve bought instead!
7. Three copies of the same game six months later.
Okay, I never actually did this. But seeing complete editions of L.A. Noire on sale for $20 during Thanksgiving made me feel quite foolish for buying it as soon as it came out, considering I maybe played half of it so far.
6. A Ghost in the Shell 1.0 Blu-ray imported from Japan.
Call me crazy, but I’d rather have this beautiful piece of art in HD than all of Stand Alone Complex in any format. And don’t get it twisted, that Ghost in the Shell 2.0 we got is a perversion of the original movie. There’s a reason the original is sold separately on Blu-ray in Japan. I didn’t feel like waiting for the dopey domestic market to catch up.
5. A bunch of used DVDs.
Forget the Netflix and Blu-ray hype for a minute. Plenty of movies may very well never be available in either format. And DVDs are going out of print every day. There’s no reason not to own the films you value, especially considering the absurdly low prices they can fetch used. Amazon and Half.com are my preferred haunts.
4. Cat Shit One (both DVD and Blu-ray versions).
When I originally drafted this post, this anime was still available exclusively at Amazon.com. Here’s hoping it turns up again sometime soon. Cat Shit One was a nutty idea: a CG adaptation of a manga about anthropomorphic animals fighting realistic human wars. It ended up being a labor of love released to little fanfare. I got the DVD for screen cap purposes, and the Blu-ray for the HD visuals. Each version is packed with so many special features I still don’t think I’ve been through them all.
3. Art books!
I have a huge queue of art books I’m itching to get. Every once in a while I scrounge up the cash to make a dent in the wish list. It’s hard to beat the re-readability of a gorgeous art book. I’m a sucker for pretty pictures, whether it be high-resolution Yoshiaki Kawajiri movie posters or 19th century engravings by Gustave Doré.
2. A bottle of Glenlivet scotch.
This is my liquor of choice. If you follow me on Twitter, you might be tired of me talking about it. It’s delicious all by itself. No soda or lemon juice or ice cubes required. Highly recommended.
1. One volume of the Fist of the North Star TV series.
You’re not surprised, are you? This anime is the bee’s knees.

Adam Chaplin: are the 80s and 90s back?

Adam Chaplin is a blood soaked independent horror/action movie fresh out of Italy. It uses a technology the creators call Hyperrealistic Anime Blood Simulation, or H.A.B.S. for short. I picked it up because of the clear Fist of the North Star influence, made even clearer by the concept art included in the DVD extras.

The violence and gore in this movie is most reminiscent of Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky, a Hong Kong film adaptation of the Riki-Oh manga by Tetsuya Saruwatari. While The Story of Ricky is a cult hit, its tacky special effects fail to live up to Saruwatari’s drawing style.

Adam Chaplin doesn’t suffer from that complication. It’s an original property created by Necrostorm, a company which proudly boasts “80-90’s are BACK” on every page of their website. This nostalgic sentiment is matched by nearly all aspects of the movie’s production, including the melodic guitar soundtrack, impressive practical effects, and spartan plot.

Adam Chaplin is a man who sold his soul to the devil in exchange for immense physical strength. He walks an ugly world filled with crooked cops and mutated freaks, seeking revenge on the deformed psychopath that burned his girlfriend alive. As Adam murders his way to his goal he punches people in half, kicks their faces off, and lets loose buckets and buckets of blood.

I don’t keep up with all the latest horror films, but I’m pleased to have seen this one. It’s gratifying to support a bunch of crazy guys creating crazy stuff halfway across the world. Necrostorm has loads of projects in the pipeline, including Death Cargo, a fighting game offering the gory violence found in Mortal Kombat, except in photographic detail.

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