North American Fantasy Comics That Will Rock Your World: Orc Stain

If there’s a trap that ought to be maligned more in American comics, it’s the bait-and-switch cover. I know it’s good business sense to make covers the most attractive part of your comic, but all too often shitty books are graced with the shiniest exteriors.

A few months ago I read the first few issues of The New 52 Deathstroke purely on the basis of Simon Bisley’s amazing cover art. Eventually my enthusiasm for the covers was outpaced by my disappointment in the book’s writing, and I had to tap out.

It happens in every genre, including fantasy comics. Some of those covers look stunning, going so far as to incorporate Frank Frazetta paintings, but you’d be hard pressed to say anything nice about the art or stories contained within.

These sorts of infractions are why I neglected Orc Stain for so long. The seemingly universal abundance of terrible fantasy comics caused me to ignore what looked like something potentially interesting. I’m glad to have dug deeper, because this book turned out to be great.

The excellent coloring of Orc Stain is what initially caught my attention. It posesses a masterful palette of purple, green and red gradients, which makes everything blend together cohesively, while also adding depth to the detailed and frenetic linework. Since comics began to be colored digitally, gradients this conspicuous have defiled what are often serviceable pencils and inks, a tell-tale sign of heavy handed colorists rushing to make their deadlines. Here, the coloring is nothing short of breathtaking, adding balance and actually elevating the already impressive line drawing. I wouldn’t be surprised if coloring is the most time-consuming part of creating Orc Stain.

Luckily, Orc Stain isn’t an exercise in style over substance. Its plot, which follows a thoughtful one-eyed orc trying to keep a low profile as an explosive paradigm shift overtakes society, is grounded in an unpredictable world filled with unusual beasts, weapons, and magic. Orcs are a race of obstinate, single-minded brutes, constantly engaged in fickle tribal warfare which accomplishes little. Most humorously, orc economics is based entirely around the gronch, the orc penis. It’s both amusing and disgusting to read about orc currency and how it’s generated. This is a book where you’re just as likely to turn the page to see what happens to the protagonist as you are to learn one of the weird quirks of the world he inhabits.

Great-looking book. Unique and compelling milieu. What’s the catch?

The closest thing to a catch is that it takes James Stokoe a long time to release each issue, because he writes, draws, inks and colors them himself. I don’t have a problem with this. In fact, I would embrace an alternative model of American comics closer to what you see in Europe, where 45-60 page chapters are released annually in high-quality hardcovers. There are talented comic book artists suited to the monthly format, but a lot aren’t. Put shortly, this book is worth the wait.

Okay, there’s one more catch, and I’m surprised I’d ever say it: this comic looks better digitally than in print. I have the Orc Stain trade paperback (which collects issues one through five), and Orc Stain #6, the most recent issue. Both are printed on an uncoated paper that greedily absorbs the rich tapestry of ink that makes up an issue of Orc Stain, reducing its contrast and vividity. Would it raise the price-point too high to print the comic on glossy paper? I can’t say.

I can tell you with confidence, however, that when you compare two-page spreads that run across both a comic book page and the inside back cover, it’s the half on the coated cover that looks best. The other side appears limp and demure by comparison. When you read the comic digitally, you don’t have this problem. It’s bright and beautiful, exploding off the screen. Good thing it’s available on comiXology for 2 bucks an issue.

Orc Stain is an artist’s compelling vision of brazen weirdness, a genuine labor of love carefully crafted. In North America, people deserve more credit for creating comics in this fashion.

Redline: Everything Will Be Different Now

I don’t know what your favorite Rutger Hauer movie is. He’s made a few good ones. There’s always his iconic performance in Blade Runner. There’s also Split Second, a solid 1992 sci-fi flick that’s difficult to find on DVD. Not to mention his more recent starring role in Hobo with a Shotgun. But I’m here to talk about Redline, a 1997 sf thriller curiously available on Amazon Instant Video.

I think Rutger Hauer starred in a string of low-budget action movies in the nineties because he was having a midlife crisis. There is one major aspect of this movie that would appeal to an actor struggling with his own virility: breasts. Pert, young, natural, communist breasts. The kind you don’t see in movies anymore. The kind that make life worth living. In Redline, Rutger Hauer gets to make out with naked Russian chicks a lot, and even gets into a fight with one.

This movie is so low rent that Mark freaking Dacascos is the costar. If you don’t know who Mark is, I have four words for you: Kickboxer 5: The Redemption. That didn’t work? Okay, he played the titular Crying Freeman in a live action adaptation of Kazuo Koike’s manga. In Redline, he plays a man who never wears a t-shirt.

Redline is a science fiction thriller about John Anderson Wade (Hauer), an American who smuggles futuristic tech into Russia, until he and his girlfriend are betrayed and shot dead by his partner, Merrick (Dacascos). Wade is reanimated using a weird kind of experimental technology that leaves him grappling with immense physical pain, and is quickly embroiled in a I-can’t-remember plot that involves the entire power structure of Russia.

I don’t know if it was Rutger Hauer’s presence or the desperation of my own mind trying to justify a terrible course of action, but I left this movie satisfied despite a laundry list of complications. I watched it via Amazon Instant Video, where it was in a 4:3 aspect ratio and the audio was maddeningly out of sync with the video. The biggest complication of all, however, is that this movie kind of blows.

All The REDLINE Giveaway Contests In One Place! (2 remaining)

Next Tuesday North Americans will finally be able to buy the pulse-pounding anime masterpiece REDLINE. If you have no money or like free things, you should know multiple websites are giving away free copies of it. Here’s a rundown of all the contests of which I’m aware:

I’ll add any new ones I run across to the list.

BREAKING: Leonardo DiCaprio Passes Bowel Movement Resembling Akira Movie

HOLLYWOOD, C.A.—Insiders are reporting human waste found near a portable toilet bears a striking resemblance to the hit 1988 science fiction anime film Akira.

An anonymous source shared with Blog of the North Star that the ongoing police investigation currently attributes the mystery stinkpickle to Leonardo DiCaprio, a movie star long attached to the live action remake of Akira. Other named suspects include Stephen Norrington, Albert Hughes and Jaume Collet-Serra.

Moments ago metropolitan police released a statement explaining the incident to be a crime of soulless corporate passion. There’s no immediate danger, but the public should make efforts to avoid contact with the booty cake if at all possible.